Sometimes I just need to quit what I am doing and take some time to reposition my heart and mind towards Jesus and allow His Word to fill me.
It’s in these short, middle of the day worships that I gain strength to continue on the right track when I feel like I’m very close to falling off the path of recovery.
Ironically, at this stage in my recovery I have days where the voice of my eating disorder is very muffled or even non-existent. When this happens I am ridiculously happy and relieved. I think that I am no longer affected by my eating disorder and am done with the struggle forever!
However, in one way or another I am brought back to reality knowing that as long as we are in this world, we can be sure that the devil try to do everything he can to use our tendencies and weaknesses against us in order to cause us to fall.
But we definitely don’t need to concern about that because Jesus is waaay stronger than the devil! As long as we stick with Him, He’ll keep us safe and protected on His path.
Now that’s a cool thought if I might say so myself. 😉
Anyhow, back to where I started… there are some days where ED is very silent and respectful of my positive, non-ED-driven choices and other days where it seems that he is literally screaming in my ear. On these kind of days, if I dare not obey him he goes out of his way to my life miserable.
Okay that was just a bit of personification but you get the point. Some days I’m like “oh I’ve got this, recovery is SO easy” and then the next day, my head is suddenly infested with disordered thoughts and I feel pressure to give in.
It’s normally on days like these–days where ED is very loud after a few days/hours of peace–that one major thought temptation pops up every time.
Give up now!
Yep, that’s it! I’m sure you too have experienced the temptation to give up at some point in life.
We’re human and sometimes feel that it would be better if we quit trying.
But it’s in these desperate moments that we must turn to Jesus, hear what He has to say, and receive His strength to move forward instead of giving up.
Oh and by the way, giving up doesn’t help anything…
Recall for a moment the darkest points of your eating disorder. Maybe you didn’t care whether you lived or died, exercised obsessively, hated your body, experienced crippling fear and anxiety, hopeless, angry, drained of health and life.
Do you really want to go back there?
Do you really want to go back to the lowest point of your eating disorder or [insert whatever] you may be struggling with?
I didn’t think so.
Yet that’s exactly what giving up does. It brings us back to square one and gradually destroys the recovery strides we’ve made…
Giving up is not good. Don’t do it!
That’s precisely what God said to me a few days ago when I was on the verge of ditching my recovery.
Thank God that feelings are just feelings, temptations are just temptations and we have God who is stronger and more powerful than both.
But before this post gets way to wordy, let me share two scriptures God shared with me in that middle-of-the-day worship a few days ago.
Are you ready for some amazingly inspiring Inspired words? Let’s go!
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:9 NKJV
But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 2 Thessalonians 3:13 NKJV
The message of these two passages is pretty straightforward but in case you didn’t catch it I’ll explain just a tad. 🙂
I wanted to understand these scriptures in depth so I used my trusty BlueLetterBible app to do a little digging with BlueLetterBible’s electronic concordance. #thankGodfortechnology
I promise this post is not sponsored by BlueLetterBible but I can’t help but encouraging you to use their app/website for your personal Bible study. It’s clean, simple interface makes Bible study so incredibly easy and efficient.
Okay, now that that’s out the way, here goes…
First, I wanted to know exactly what the Bible meant by “growing weary.” Since this phrase is seen in both the passages I looked it up in the Bible concordance. The English translation was “to be utterly spiritless, to be wearied out, exhausted.” From my search, “growing weary” seems to have something to do with a way of thinking and feeling.
As humans, we grow weary emotionally through our thoughts. Of course, growing weary manifests itself differently in different individuals but growing weary in recovery might look something like this:
This is just too hard. I can never recover. I keep messing up and I’m tired of fighting. Anorexia just felt so good and safe anyway…
Undoubtedly thoughts of giving up on recovery will come, but when they do, we shouldn’t allow ourselves to grow weary by continuing to engage in this dangerous and exhausting thought process.
Another phrase that’s seen in both passages is “doing good.”
I can almost hear you sarcastically saying, Now Jade, doing good simply means doing good. Please don’t overthink this. 😉
I know, I know. It may seem as if I’m overthinking but stick with me.
In peeking at the concordance definitions, I discovered that this phrase could also be translated as “giving honor.”
Thus, if we inserted “giving honor” for “doing good”the passages would now read “let us not grow weary in giving honor” or “do not grow weary in giving honor.”
Exactly who are we supposed to not grow weary honoring?
Our lives are designed to give glory and honor to God. That’s the way God made us. He wants us to give glory to Him because He loves everyone and it is while giving Him honor that others can catch a glimpse of His loveliness, be drawn to Him and healed by His amazing power.
This led me to question: Does giving up on recovery honor God?
Better yet, does recovery honor God?
You bet it does!
Recovery shows that God is stronger than our eating disorder and even if the disordered thoughts and impulses never completely disappear we can still live free and fulfilled lives outside of ED and through Jesus Christ.
Since eating disorder recovery brings honor to God–showing how loving, caring and powerful He is–than I think the verses could also be translated as:
“let us not grow weary in recovery” or “do not grow weary in recovery.”
Now those translations make me excited!
Last but not least, the first passage gives us a motivating reason why we should never give up on recovery!
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
This statement gives us hope that if we continue in recovery, good things will happen. It reminds us that the struggle is worth it and that in time we will reap good results!
The phrase “in due season” reminds us to be patient and trusting because God will bring us to the right place in recovery at just the right time.
We don’t have to worry about results but can instead relax and trust that as long as we stick with Him and never give up we will reap results that are better than we could have ever imagined!!!
If you’ve made it to the end of this long read, you have my sincere thanks. 🙂 I hope these two verses inspired you as much as they did me.
Have a lovely weekend and never give up!
Do you ever feel like giving up? What do you do to combat those feelings? Do you believe that full recovery from an eating disorder is possible?