In my opinion, at least one of ED’s parents is dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with life circumstances, our past, or even fear of the future can lead us to lash out on our bodies and treat God’s temple with disrespect. Instead of facing the roots of what lie behind and cause our disorder, we prefer to become preoccupied with addressing our outward appearance. We throw our all into diet and fitness in an attempt to control our world–to mask or ease the pain of the underlying issues we face.
The dissatisfaction leads to raw and opened want and we become consumed with externals. We want a flat stomach. We want to eat 100% clean. We want to lose more weight. We want to make be physically perfect. We want to fit into the smallest size in the entire store.
But, in reality, these wants are just flimsy cover ups for what we really want. We really want security. We really want unconditional love. We really want peace. We really want direction. We really want healing. We really want success. We really want perfection.
As I was reflecting on my physical wants that seem to present themselves to me, clamoring to be fulfilled on a daily basis, I concluded that if I really think candidly and honestly, behind these external wants I have deep soul longings for something higher and better than I now have.
Something ultimately and permanently satisfying.
ED is simply another way of trying to find deep satisfaction from externals. As humans we hurt, we have disappointments, we encounter hard times and because of this we want answers, stability and security. We want something that makes us feel grounded instead constantly in a free-fall towards more uncertainty and pain.
Well, my friends, deep soul satisfaction can and does exist. We no longer have to want when we have a certain special Someone in our lives. With Him, our wants disappear because He fills every single one of them.
A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. (Psa 23:1 NASB)
King David experienced soul hunger and need firsthand. Although I doubt he struggled with ED in particular, he did have deep wants that he attempted to fill with surface wants. He wanted love, so he ended up marrying over 7 women. He wanted love so He committed adultery and then murdered the woman’s husband in an attempt to cover it up. And all of his past actions which stemmed from trying to fill this want eventually backfired in his face, creating fighting and shame and destruction within his own family.
This is why David could speak from experience when he wrote this beautiful first verse of the 23rd Psalm.
David had begun to learn his lesson that no external anything can satisfy soul hunger. He began to allow God to lead Him. And when He embraced God’s leading he no longer wanted. God satisfied the very roots of the soul hunger that David had been trying to fill with mere externals. He became ultimately satisfied.
It’s the same way with you and me and anyone recovering from an eating disorder. We have to identify what we really want, what we really need and what we really crave. Behind all the externals and outward expressions of ED, there is a need, a longing, and deep soul yearning that only God can fill.
We too, like David, can find soul satisfaction when we quit focusing on the externals and go straight to the heart of what we need. And that is God.
We need God. We need Him to shepherd us–to watch over us and guide us. When we invite Him into our lives, He can’t help but filling every last bit of our soul hunger. As a result, we will no longer want.
We become ultimately satisfied.
For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness. (Psa 107:9 NKJV)
“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, Come to the waters; And you who have no money, Come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk Without money and without price. Why do you spend money for [what is] not bread, And your wages for [what] does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat [what is] good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you–The sure mercies of David. (Isa 55:1-3 NKJV)
No questions for today. Please feel free to share your thoughts though. 🙂 Have a beautiful day!