It’s over! That is, both July and Scripture Savor have ended. It’s now August–a new month has begun. But before I celebrate too much and let you in on some of my plans and dreams for August, I want to share a sampling of what God has shared with me from July’s Scripture Savor Challenge. You don’t know what I’m talking about? Click here to read my introductory Scripture Savor post.
Being totally consistent with the Scripture Savor Challenge was honestly a struggle last month. I had some very low moments and at these points I had no desire to read and meditate on Scripture. This is awful because Scripture is actually the very thing we need when discouraged or struggling so I’m glad that God did not allow me to stay in a bad place for too long. I feel like last month I had a re-surrender of sorts. I have had to come to terms with my recovery through surrendering it to God. To me, July’s biggest lesson is that I cannot simply surrender once and expect everything to be okay. Surrender is a daily, living process by which I continually give myself and what I want to do to God and allow Him to work everything out for me.
In my reflections this past month I’ve realized that although I trust God in theory, I’m not so good at trusting Him in practice. God has shown me my true heart and I pray that He will continue to be patient with me and help me to grow in my love for and trust in Him. And one of the best ways to come to love and trust Him more is by getting to know Him and what He likes, thinks, etc., through the Scriptures.
So today I’m going to share 3 selected verses that I memorized during the Scripture Savor Challenge! Remember, the 3 step process for Scripture Savor was to:
- Set aside some time to spend memorizing a passage of scripture.
- As you spend time committing the scripture to memory, think of its application to you personally.
- Pray for God’s Spirit to empower you to incorporate the exact scripture you memorized into your everyday living.
In light of this, I’ll mention the scripture, then write a bit about its personal application to me and the way God showed me how to incorporate it into my daily living.
Psalm 15:1,2 NKJV | LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart;
When memorizing this Scripture, God immediately directed my heart to the “speaks the truth in [her] heart” part. In the darkest days of my eating disorder, I remember daily and hourly repeating lies to myself. Lies such as, I am absolutely ugly. I am so fat/thick. I am no good… These were the thoughts that began to creep into my mind and completely took over. Soon I viewed everything about me as completely and totally negative.
As I am asking God help me to surrender to Him and embrace recovery, I am realizing slowly but surely that these negative thoughts are all lies. Although unfortunately I’ve created a habit of being negative with myself, God has shown me that He wants to help me to speak truth, not lies, in my heart which is my mind. He wants me to speak what is reality: That He took the time to create me, that He’s bubbling over with love for me, that He is the One who can make me truly good.
As I mentioned, habits are a science and take effort and hard-work to break. Somehow I created the habit of negativity with myself and now God is giving me plenty of opportunity to put this verse into practice every day. He is sharing with me that every single time that those habitually negative thoughts arise, I am to speak the truth in my mind by either repeating a Scripture or praying what’s actually true back to God.
For example, instead of thinking I’m ugly, I can think and say in my heart “I will praise You, for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And [that] my soul knows very well.” (Psa 139:14 NKJV, emphasis supplied)
God wants me to speak truth and not lies in my mind. I’m sooo not saying that I’ve arrived or don’t struggle at times with not even wanting to think the truth(lies can actually become very comfortable); however, as I follow the scripture and faithfully replacing lying thoughts with truthful thoughts, God will help me and soon it will become easy!
I can’t wait for this to happen!!! 😀
Psalm 19:9 NKJV | The fear of the LORD [is] clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the LORD [are] true [and] righteous altogether.
Have you heard of the clean eating craze that’s around lately? I’m sure you have. Although I have never outwardly subscribed to following a “clean” diet, much of my eating disorder has been based off of wanting to be a perfect eater. I believe that the human spirit craves and longs for purity and perfection. It’s natural, it’s how we’re wired. Thus we try to achieve purity and perfection in different ways. Mine happened to be desiring and vigorously pursuing the elusive practice of being a perfect eater.
At the very beginning of my leanings toward disordered eating, I required myself to eat 5 cups of fruit per day. Soon chopping, measuring and trying to get my fruit in became a wearisome task and I turned to something else. Soon eating 1 “extra” forkful or an additional slice of bread brought me to tears. I would become unnaturally upset and chide myself for not eating 100% perfectly. Somehow I believed that not eating perfectly made me into a complete and total failure.
I write believed in the former paragraph because I want those things to become truly a part of my past but honestly I still struggle with “perfect-eating” thoughts today. In recovery the thoughts are more like, Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much? Is this okay? What is right?
But now I am embracing the fact that I cannot be perfect on my own. In fact, it’s impossible because my concept of perfection is always changing. But God? He never changes! Reverencing, respecting and worshiping Him (which is what fear means in this context) is true purity and perfection. Everything about God, His way and His Word simply cannot change–it’s the same forever.
God is showing me that I no longer have to chase after this elusive perfection of clean eating. He simply wants me to relax and trust Him to work out His true perfection in me. I have many practical, day-to-day opportunities to apply this scripture to my life as food/eating is an unavoidable part of life and especially recovery. I no longer have to concern myself with being a perfect eater, instead I can focus on God and reverencing and worshiping Him. This kind of perfection and cleanness is satisfying and unchanging. It’s what God wants for me today!
Psalm 119:57 | [You are] my portion, O LORD; I have said that I would keep Your words.
God showed me two amazing concepts in this scripture but I’m actually running out of time to write so I’ll only focus on the second part of this scripture for now. It’s the part that reads: “I have said that I would keep Your words.”
As I mentioned a little earlier in this post, last month I realized that I had to re-surrender to God. To me, recovery is rough. Old habits and tendencies are hard to break. I’m sure this is not unique to me but some days I just don’t feel like struggling and would rather capitulate and forget my promise of surrender to God.
It is at these times where I must remind myself of my promise to God. “I have said that I would keep Your words.” I can’t go back now. Okay, I can because God gives me the power of choice but why in the world would I when God is so wise, inexpressibly loving, and has great plans for me? He truly is my biggest cheerleader in recovery and doesn’t want me to give up. In fact, as long as I stay connected to Him, He won’t even allow me to give up. He’s given me His words as strength and encouragement. He intimately knows my weaknesses and fears and yet still desires to help me.
He has given me everything I need for life and godliness (see 2 Peter 1:3). With Him, I cannot give up. Sure, the journey is not always easy but I must remind myself of my promise– I have said that I would keep His Words and with Him nothing can fail!!
What has God been sharing with you lately from His Word? How do you incorporate Scripture into your everyday living? How was July for you? Have you ever had a similar experience with negativity, false perfection, or the desire to give up? How has God spoken to you on these issues?
I hope your weekend has been very pleasant and I’ll be back later on this week to fully celebrate this new month and to share a recipe post and my August dreams/goals!